Getting Inside My Head

It probably IS as scary as it sounds! 

My name is Denise and I don’t fail.   Its really an easy thing to say when  you  never really even attempt something unless  you know that you are able to complete it.. and excel at doing so.

It was years ago that I realized this little tid-bit about myself and set out to change that.  I began setting unrealistic goals for myself to see what I could achieve if I wasn’t scared to death of failing at it.  And you know what?  I’ve had a hellovalotta fun!  When you write down these goals or share them with someone it makes them real – no longer something you can sweep under the rug and easily ‘forget’ about.  So I write them down, I tell people, I rope other people into my crazy ideas, I blog…

I still don’t LIKE to fail… but I no longer let that fear of failing stop me from LIVING, from EXPERIENCING, from BEING..

This fear of failing… it was what inspired me to start on this excellent adventure with Elise.  Seriously, ME climb 94 flights of stairs??   Well, I’ll never know unless I try!

And every now and then I freak myself out.  Like yesterday, I realized the warrior dash was 8 weeks away.  56 days.   I am NOT ready to finish RUNNING a 5K yet – not even thinking about the tires, mud, fire jumping, etc.   

Will I be ready to do this in a mere 56 days?  (During which I have no less than 3 business trips, a first communion to host, a pre-school recognition day to plan, a children’s resale to co-chair, a boyfriend 3 states away that I’d like to see, and 2 other 5K’s)

WHAT AM I THINKING??

This morning I powered up the Macbook… took a sip of coffee.. and found this on a friends facebook page:

Ever Tried.  Ever Failed.  No Matter.  Try Again.  Fail Again.  Fail Better.  - Samuel Beckett

Well, if that Isn’t the universe speaking to me, I don’t know what is.

So I will be dashing – thru the mud and over fire – and I will do it!  And if I can’t finish or get hurt, you know what?  I will have done it.  I will have failed.  But I will have failed better than I have before b/c I was there.   I’d never have gotten the coveted Viking helmet  if I hadn’t gotten over myself and my damn fear of failing.

So that’s what I will do.. I will Try Again.  Fail Again.  And Fail Better!  Because really, you can’t fail at failing….. so what’s so damn scary anyway?!

I got this.